One of the most interesting observations I've made in my transition back into civilian life from the rabbinate is how difficult it can be to shift gears.  I don't mind that my phone rarely rings and that I only receive 5-7 emails a day rather than forty.  I like that part a whole lot.

The challenge is being an ordinary player on an even playing field again.  As a rabbi, my title and position changed the dynamics of social engagement...even among friends and family.

I like not being in charge...but I've nearly forgotten how to do that.  Without giving it a single thought, I catch myself taking for granted that everyone around me will go with whatever plan I put forward.

The more anonymous I am, like at last week's South by  Southwest film panels and workshops, the easier it is feel my own smallness and open my mind to new information and modes of conduct.

The more intimately committed I feel, like in marriage and family, the harder it is to pull the stressed out over committed rabbi back and reinvent the choreography of daily life, both short term and long term pursuits.

The good news is that scientifically, the case for human adaptability has been proven rather successful.  I can grow and change and adapt and continue to develop into a more deeply thinking, compassionate, and creative partner and parent.  We all just need a little patience.